Just Simply Holly

It’s been a very interesting couple of days, to say the least! It’s also been very stressful, physically, mentally and emotionally. We’re dealing with things as best as we can, and trying to accept what the end result is.

I REALLY need to be sleeping right now, but my brain is going a million miles an hour! I have to make at least 2 batches of brownies tomorrow for my brothers “surprise” 50th birthday party. I quoted the word surprise because thanks to my brothers inability to be a decent human being, he was told about the party and was told because of him it was being canceled. Then they turned around less than 24 hours later and called everyone letting them know it was back on.

I love my brother with ALL of my heart, but he has a serious drinking problem! His oldest son is now experiencing legal problems because of his own addiction problems and my brother feels that the best thing they could do to “help” his son is to simply turn their backs on him and let him deal with it on his own! What my brother doesn’t seem to remember is that when he was almost 18 he had some legal problems himself, and that while they were upset about what he had done, our parents never put him out on the street or turned their backs on him, not for a second! I also experienced my own legal problems at the age of 20, and although my mother was very upset with me, she never once turned her back on me.

It’s heartbreaking to see my nephew go through what he is going through right now. He’s lost his job, his home and his fiancee because of his addictions. Other than his freedom, he doesn’t have much else to lose, except his family. He’s a broken man who is ashamed and embarrassed about what he has done, which lets me know that there is still hope for him! I told him what I thought he needed to do, whether or not he follows through with it is up to him!

But today my brother turned 50 and tomorrow is his 50th birthday party. I know why my brother is having a hard time right now, besides his own drinking problem. He shared his birthday with our father who passed away nearly 29 years ago and his brother in law who lost his battle with cancer just a few weeks ago. I know that he’s looking at his own life and the fact that he’s the only one left with a September 5th birthday. It has to be difficult, and it has to be scary for him. I’m hoping that he can pull himself together to realize if he doesn’t support his son, he’ll lose him. I could understand the “tough love” attitude if this kid had been in trouble his whole life, but he hasn’t, this is his first time in trouble in his 24 year life. There is still hope left for him, I can feel it in my heart!

However, I don’t know if there is any hope of me getting any sleep tonight…LOL

Does anyone honestly thing Britney Spears is a changed woman? All of the latest tabloids and news stories are talking about how she’s lost weight and is putting the focus on taking care of herself and being the best mom she can be. Some stories credit the change in Brittney to her little sister becoming a mother, saying that it’s helped her to realize how much she needed to change and put her focus on the important things. Other stories talk about how the thought of actually losing her boys finally set in and made her realize they way she was living her life was wrong.

I, however, think it will only be a matter of time before the Britney that we’ve all gotten used to returns. I don’t think her days of partying are over for good. I think we’ll eventually see her back on the front of all the tabloids and magazines wearing her bustiers and short skirts again. But I also hope that I’m wrong! It would be nice if we continued to see this “new and improved” Britney! I think she’ll find that if she keeps her life on track that she’ll eventually be able to revive her stardom as well as her career. Once she does that, we’ll know for sure whether or not she really has changed her life for good!

I knew it was coming, and from the talk we had with the landlord tonight, it’s honestly not a big deal, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t just a little worried. The “they” I’m talking about is my landlord and a Realtor. The Realtor is coming to take pictures and measurements of the house to officially list it for sale. Neither of them truly feel is has a good chance of selling, which makes the fact that they’re listing it even sillier in my eyes. But it’s not my house and it’s not my decision.

I don’t know how to feel, I really don’t! I LOVE living here! Yes, the house has some quirky stuff that needs to be fixed or changed, but it’s not the house I love, so much as the location! The peace that comes from being so surrounded by nature can’t compare to anything I have ever experienced in my life! Waking up in the morning and seeing/hearing the birds and the rest of nature come to greet a new day is so amazing!

Will I miss this house when/if we have to move, ABSOLUTELY! Finding a house with a location like this isn’t easy! It’s not like buying car insurance where you can just go online and in a few clicks have everything you need. Well, I guess it could be if you were buying a house, but because of the position we’re in financially because of my husband’s job, buying a house is completely out of the picture right now, PERIOD!

**SIGH** I wish I could win the lottery! Oh yeah, you actually have to buy tickets to win, don’t you? LOL

Yikes, has it really been three days since the kids have been home? I tell you, it’s almost as if they were never gone! It’s taken 3 days to get all their stuff unpacked and good grief, I’m amazed I didn’t find a kitchen sink or something in my daughters stuff. Her sister took her shopping a couple of times so she really did come home with even more than she had originally taken with her.

She remembered what I told her to do when packing her stuff up, which is a complete miracle in itself. See, when we packed her stuff to go out, I made sure that I put all of the things like her shampoo and conditioner, her makeup and her acne treatment creams in ziploc bags, that way if something happened and there was a spill from one of them, it wouldn’t end up all over her clothes. I told her to do the same thing for the trip home, but I honestly wasn’t sure she’d remember. But she showed me that she can remember some important things I tell her, if she wants to!

It’s nice having them home again though, I really did miss them. And yes, before you ask, part of me even missed the arguing they do. Well, not the actual arguing, but just being able to hear their voices and know that they were near by! Our next goal is getting them both ready for school, anyone want to offer to help with that one? LOL

Well, we’re home, and I’m happy to say that we came home with MUCH less than what we went up there with yesterday! Not totally because of selling stuff though, although we did sell a good chunk of out unwanted stuff!

See, here’s what happened. When we got up to my sisters house this morning she told me that she had a lady stop into the garage sale just after we left last night. She purchased a few items and after she paid she got to talking to my sister. After a little while my sister discovered that this lady was the mother of the girl that sold my sister the carpeting in her last 2 houses. After talking a little more, my sister discovered that this womans daughter, who is only 38, had suffered a major stroke in November. This lady was going around to garage sales buying up easy sell items that she thought were priced low, so that she could sell them at a garage sale/benefit that was being held to help raise money to pay for the huge mound of medical and therapy bills that her daughter had en massed since November.

So, to make a long story short, my sister agreed that this lady could come at 4:00 this afternoon with a truck and load up the items she had left over from the garage sale that hadn’t sold and she told the lady that she would talk to me to see if I would be interested in doing the same, which I gladly did! Shortly after 4:00 this big box truck pulled up and the lady was so happy that we had offered to donate the items we had left over!!

They backed the truck up to the garage and when they opened the back doors, inside was already boxes filled with clothes, various household items, and a couple of ellipticals. We helped them load our stuff into the truck and then the lady turned to us and handed us a flyer about the benefit for her daughter and asked us to please attend if we could, that she’d love to have us there!

It just made me feel really good, ya know? My sister felt so bad to hear what had happened to this girl, she actually knew her several years ago from an office that my mom used to clean. It’s kind of scary to think about though. She is just 38 years old and because of this stroke she basically lost all use of one side of her body because of paralysis. Live is precious, so don’t take it for granted!

It’s so amazing to think that you spend a large chunk of your life doing something and then one day, poof, it’s just gone, albeit temporarily. I know, the kids will be back quicker than I realize and I’m very lucky because of the fact that they will come back. But I’m really struggling with this and I’m hoping and praying that they don’t remember the address for my blog and read this!

For the past 15+ years the majority of my time has been spent taking care of them, making sure they had 3 meals a day, making sure they had clean clothes and keeping them safe. Yes, they take more care of themselves lately, they are getting older, but I’m still here to make sure they are OK.

I spent the bulk of today crying and missing them, I just feel so lost and empty, like I have no purpose right now. And yes, I know how totally silly and stupid that sounds, I mean, how much have I complained about their constant bickering and arguing lately? Sometimes it seemed as if that was ALL they did, so how can I miss that, right? Well, I do, DESPERATELY! So much so, that I can’t fall asleep tonight. When I’d roll over and close my eyes all I could see were their faces. Then the dogs hogged all the covers and that was enough, I got up and came out here to watch some TV and try to clear my mind.

I guess I need to spend these next few weeks trying to find out just exactly what I want out of life. I realize that there is more to life than my children and the reality is that in a few years they’ll both be 18. Anyway, thanks for listening! I just needed to vent a bit.

You know, I LOVE watching movies, but one of the things that I don’t like is dealing the video rental stores. I don’t know what it is, but it seems like the people that work in video stores are just not the friendliest group of people. I understand that it’s probably not the best paying of jobs, but if you can’t at least attempt to put a smile on and be helpful when you have a job when you have to deal with the public, then you’re in the wrong business!

Anyway, thankfully there are other options if you want to rent movies but don’t want to go to your local video store! I recently ran across a site offering Blockbuster coupons for their DVD rentals that will allow you to not only get your movies by mail, but you also have the option to exchange your movies in store rather than waiting for the “snail mail” to get your movies back to Blockbuster and send your new ones to you.

Something like this just might be a good option for us, without having do deal with the grumpy people at some of the local video stores! I guess I’ll have to talk to the hubby when he gets home from work today and get his thoughts on it!

It’s been four days since we carried my sister in law’s belongings into her new home. It’s MUCH smaller than where she’s been living the past 4+ years (read: large old farm house compared to a 2 room apartment), but she’s safe now and that’s what matters the most!

We were amazed to find out, however, that it was going to take the phone company 5 business days to flip a switch so that she’d have phone service VS the cable company physically having to come to her apartment to hook up cable. Thankfully the cable company also offers phone service, so she’s getting that through them rather than the phone company. (read: You snooze, you lose)

She’s also going to get high speed internet through them and we’re going to get my hubby’s old laptop back from my brother in law, that way she can keep up with things online and have access to important websites and stuff. Good thing we have plenty of extra CAT5e cables lying around, that’ll be one less thing she’ll have to worry about buying!

I ended up spending over 8 hours with her yesterday, which I really enjoyed! I had honestly forgotten how much I enjoyed talking to her and spending time with her! She’s such an admirable woman and I’m still amazed with all of the rough cards life has dealt her that she still holds her head high and hasn’t given up! I look forward to spending many more days with her!

I’m still hoping that we’ll be able to get in a “real” family vacation at some point this year. Or plans for Florida ended up getting scrapped because of bills and finances, and it really bummed everyone out!

I seen an ad online for Branson Missouri that showed a beautiful sunset over a lake and I just HAD to click on it. I have to say that I’m quite impressed with all that Branson has to offer! I knew that it was best known for all of the entertainment options that are available, but since I had never really checked it out well, I had no clue of the other options that are available.

For instance, I honestly did not know that Branson was in the heart of the Ozarks, one of the most beautiful and scenic areas in the United States. I also did not know that Branson was home to one of the award winning Stone Hill wineries, and I found the story about how the winery reopened in the 1960’s totally fascinating!

Add to those things the fact that it boasts some of the most beautiful scenery in the US, AWESOME parks, museums, and caverns as well as a HUGE outlet center, and you have yourself a vacation spot that has something to please everyone!

Branson is now at the top of my list of places to go when we do finally have the time and finances to take a much needed family vacation! If you’ve never checked into Branson and are weighing great vacation locations, you really need to check it out! I’m sure you’ll be as surprised as I was! Well, I guess I shouldn’t say surprised, I just honestly did not realize it offered so many awesome options!

I’m a HUGE fan of Extreme Home Makeover, I tune it in just about every Sunday night, with very few exceptions. So tonight, I wrap up my Sunday evening sock sorting and fold-o-rama in time to watch my favorite show, but when I tuned in the channel, it wasn’t on. Instead I was greeted by none other than Oprah and her new show, Oprah’s Big Give. I’m not an Oprah fan at all, and I tried to watch this show when it first started, but did not care for it at all. So I clicked on the guide to see what was coming on tonight and seen that after Oprah’s show Desperate Housewives comes back on tonight for the first time since the writers strike has been settled.

I was a HUGE fan of Desperate Housewives the first year or two, but after that it just turned all “weird” and I stopped watching it. I know that it’s just a TV show and nothing about it is real, but the whole show just bothers me anymore. Between all of the skinny ladies, who look like they’ve taken too many doses of Orovo, and all the cheating men, the show has just gone way over the edge anymore. I have to admit, though, that the show where the tornado his Wysteria Lane kept me on the edge of my seat! That was probably the best episode I’ve seen in a couple of years!

So right now I am watching The First 48 on A&E and at 9:00 I’m planning on tuning in the season finale of Rock of Love to see whether or not Brett chooses Ambre or Daisy as his Rock of Love. Personally, I think he’s making an idiot out of himself on this show, but hey, I guess if that’s what he thinks he needs to do in order to find his true love, that’s his choice. Hopefully this season won’t turn out like the last one did!