Just Simply Holly

Fortunately, it was a good crazy, but let me tell you, this was will be one for the record books! It started out as a quiet, easy going morning. I was able to enjoy my coffee and wake up well before the kids woke up!

My family TOTALLY respected my wishes and did not buy me a gift or a card. I asked them not to spend any money of me for Mother’s Day in lieu of my upcoming trip to California, so instead they each sent me a wonderful e-card and the kids “promised” they’d be on their best behavior all day. I’m happy to say that other than one or two minor attitudes, the kids behaved themselves wonderfully today, so that made this a wonderful Mother’s Day in my book!

I had told my sister that I would bring a cake to her house as part of the dinner and had found a recipe a few weeks ago for a chocolate cake that I had really been dying to try. So, for the first time ever, I made a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting 100% from scratch. I was a bit nervous, even with all of the baking that I’ve done over the years, I had never attempted a cake and frosting completely from scratch. My worries proved completely unfounded as everyone agreed it was one of the best chocolate cakes they had ever eaten! I was quite impressed myself and plan on tackling other types of cakes from scratch as soon as I can!

We had an AWESOME time at my sisters house! Of course, by the time we got there she and our mother had already drank two glasses of Sangria, so they had a head start on me…LOL! But I didn’t even try to catch up with them! My sister made an AWESOME lasagna and besides my chocolate cake, we also had strawberry shortcake for dessert!

The trip home, however, became an adventure! We pulled out of my sisters driveway and I happened to look at the dashboard of the car (my hubby was driving). I looked at him and said “You need to stop for gas because we will NOT make it home”, but he assured me that we had more than enough gas in the car to make it home. I told him that I had driven that car for more than 5 years and I was certain that there was no way we would make it home, but he had it in his head that we would make it home just fine. Can you guess who was right? That’s right, I WAS! LOL We were about 2/3 of the way home with about 15 miles to go and the car started that running out of gas “chug-a-lug”. I looked at him and he had this look of complete disbelief on his face, to which I said “I TOLD YOU SO”.

See, we don’t drive the Honda that much anymore, so we hadn’t put any gas in it. He drove it up to my sisters house yesterday morning and had used my brother in law’s truck to drive back and forth with the loads of firewood from the trees that they had cut down. So today we drove the truck back up to them and brought the Honda back home.

So here we were, basically in the middle of no where, with no gas and no gas can to put gas in. My husband walked to one of two houses that were nearby to see if he could buy some gas from them, but they said they didn’t have any. The did, however, offer to call the Sheriff’s department stating that they thought the sheriff always carried a gallon of gas with them. So, we waited for the Sheriff to show up, and when he did, he had no gas. He stated that they stopped carrying gas with them quite a while ago. My husband then walked to the other house that was nearby and was able to get a gallon of gas, which was more than enough to get us home. He brought the can out to the car and put it in and as he was taking the can back I decided to start the car. Only thing was, when we ran out, we coasted off to the edge of the road and the car was on a slant, a bad enough slant that the car just would not start. Thankfully the Sheriff’s deputy stuck around to make sure we stayed safe. Between him, my husband and our son, they were able to push the car up onto a flatter area of the road side and after a few more minutes of cranking the ignition and pumping the gas pedal, the car finally started.

I tell you though, laughed my butt off the ENTIRE time we sat there on empty! I don’t know if it was the 2 glasses of Sangria, or just the fact that it had been such an enjoyable day, but I just found the entire situation hilarious!

We got home and had to clean up after puppies, the only damage they had caused was a chewed up tube of lip gloss that brat gurl had left laying on her desk, so that tuned out better than it could have! I made a pot of coffee and got the kids started on their showers, made a few phone calls to let everyone know that we made it home safely and poured myself a cup of coffee.

Just as I sat down with my coffee, the phone rang. I seen that it was my step daughter, so I let my husband answer the phone, thinking she was calling to talk to him, but I was wrong. She was calling for me to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day, which meant a lot to me! For a few years of her life, she lived with my husband and I full time. Although she was a wonderful child, I easily qualified as one of those typical wicked step mothers! I won’t go into the details, it serves no purpose anymore. I will say that it was better than 10 years before the two of us sat down and talked to each other and the only thing that I could offer her was my heartfelt apology. I knew that my mistakes had damaged her relationship with her father, and I offered to remain in the background so that the two of them could mend their relationship. It was a step in the right direction and over the past 2 years all four of us have developed a wonderful relationship with this very amazing young woman!

As a matter of fact, the relationship the the kids have developed with their older sister has grown so well that they are actually flying out and spending some time with her this summer, all on their own. Which leads to the final “WOW” of my Mother’s Day! I’ve known for a while now that the kids were going to go spend time with their older sister this summer, it’s about all they talk about any more and all three kids are really looking forward to it. I had initially thought they’d go for a week, maybe 10 days, but almost choked tonight when their sister asked if she could have them for a full MONTH! While I’m not even remotely against them spending a month with their sister, I’m a bit worried because the last time they spent any time with her was when she came to stay with us for a week, over 8 years ago. I trust her to take care of them, even though they’ll be in a major city over 500 miles from home. But the kids and I have never been away from each other that long!

So I’m torn, yes, they’ll be 15 and 13 by then and their sister is 25 and VERY responsible. I’m just torn you know! What would you do?

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I’d like to take a moment and wish all of the mom’s out there a VERY wonderful and happy Mothers Day! I’m just chilling out this morning (no one will let me do ANYTHING), but we’re heading up to my sisters house this afternoon for dinner with her and our mother!

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Yes, I do realize that my youngest is a couple of months from actually being a teen, but she’s close enough in my book…LOL! I had some time to talk to my husband over the weekend and we got to reminiscing about the silly things that the kids would do when they were little and how much we miss those days. They used to giggle and laugh over the silliest of things and their favorite activities were things like playing follow the leader, riding bike and just running around being goofy.

Now that they are teens, their favorite activities are arguing and more arguing! And rather than have a bathroom filled with bath tub toys and pull ups, I instead have a bathroom that is filled with make up, hair gel and acne treatment solutions. I know that I can’t make them be little forever, but it sure would be nice if I could have a little bit of their childhood personalities left over in their teens!

I have no doubt the next few years will go quickly though. It doesn’t seem like it’s been 15 and almost 13 years since they were born! I before I know it, they’ll both be graduating from High School, hopefully anyway! I don’t want the time to go by fast, I want them to do their best to enjoy what childhood years they have left! So, I’ll just deal with the arguing and hair gel and acne treatment solutions, because there are much worse things I could be dealing with!

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I try not to talk about my kids on here, first because they say that I embarass them and second, well, I just don’t. But sometimes I just get so damn frustrated as a parent of one teen and one “almost” teen, and the best way to get rid of frustration is to talk about it. And since I’m home alone today with no one but the dogs to talk to, that leaves me no one to talk to but YOU! Aren’t you the lucky one!!!! I promise this won’t be painful or very long though.

My biggest frustrations stem from dealing with my oldest child who has been diagnosed with ADHD and Bi Polar Disorder. He is 15 years old and some days can be the funniest most loving kid in the world, but on others he is nothing more than an argumentive boy filled with rage. I know and I’ve been told that he is basically a “typical” kid for his age and that many of the things he is doing and going through are just a stage and will pass. But when I keep getting reports of poor and failing grades, cutting class, refusing to dress for gym class and just blatent disrespect for the rules, it makes me feel like somewhere along the line I’ve done something seriously wrong as his parent.

Here at home or biggest problem(s) with him are unwillingness to do chores that he’s asked to do (or doing them AFTER a huge argument), mouthiness and foul language and just an overall bad attitude. But none of these are constant things, one day he’ll do great, the next day it feels like thw worst of the worst. It can even change on an hourly basis. I know part of it has to do with his mental health issues, but I’m also totally unwilling to allow him to use the mental health stuff as a cop out and feel that he needs to learn some sort of self control. I don’t have any close friends who are going through anything like this nor can I turn to my family for various reasons. So I’m coming to you and hoping that you can offer me some ideas and/or suggestions. He does currently take medications for ADHD and the Bi Polar and I also have him back in counselling, but there has to be something else I can do because these things just don’t feel like they are “enough”.

See, I told you it wouldn’t be too long, and I hope it wasn’t painful and I honestly thank you if you actually read through that! If you have any suggestions or ideas feel free to leave me a comment or you can contact me privately at holly (at) justsimplyholly (dot) com.

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And yes, before you say anything, I do know that I spelled that wrong…LOL! I was talking with my son this morning in the midst of the morning rush to get ready. I remembered to tell both of my children Happy Valentine’s Day. My daughter replied back with an “I’m busy mom; I don’t have time to play”. *SIGH* I think that “officially” means she’s growing up!

Gone are the days of mulling over the various types of Valentines the minute they hit the shelves. The quest to find “THE” perfect Valentines Cards that would make them the most popular kid in class isn’t something I have to worry about any more. But even though these aren’t things that I have to do again, it doesn’t mean that the years of Valentines memories will leave me. No, those memories are something that I will have and cherish for years to come.

But I think the one that stands out to me the most is the year my oldest child was in kindergarten. He stood there in the store looking at all the different Valentines Cards for what seemed like forever until choosing the one that he thought was just right. Even though it was still a few weeks until Valentine’s Day, he was too excited about filling in his name and the names of his classmates, so we sat down at the table as soon as we got home to get started at the task at hand.

My son was so proud as he sat at the table filling out his first Valentines cards. He was excited at the thought of taking them to school and sharing them with his classmates and it was an almost constant argument until Valentine’s Day, explaining to him why he couldn’t take them to school yet. But when he woke up on Valentine’s Day he knew the days of arguing were over, today was THE day that he could finally take his treasured cards to school to share with his friends and the thought made him smile ear to ear with his silly little toothless grin.

When he got home that afternoon he told me that there was something in his backpack “Just for you mommy”. When we walked through the door he pulled open his backpack and handed me a folded and crinkled piece of red construction paper and proudly exclaimed “Happy Valentimes Day mommy, will you be my Valentime”. On the red construction paper he had drawn a heart with a white crayon and had made his best attempt at writing “I Love You” and signed his name.

Sometimes it’s very difficult to remember the special moments like this that I have had with my children! My oldest is now 15 and my “baby” is just a few months away from turning 13, so they are a few years past being “little” kids now. The days of nonstop silliness and “Valentimes” cards have been replaced teenage bickering and arguing. But I will always treasure the moment that my 6 year old son asked me to be his Valentime!

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I’m sitting here watching The Today Show. Meridith is talking to a lady on a segment called “Today’s Family: Dealing with kids’ gross behavior”. I missed the name of the woman she is talking to, so I apologize. The general “air” of the segment is obviously dealing with the gross things that kids do. The first thing they talked about was farting. Now, my family is weird because we laugh our butts off over farts. Hey, come on, it’s a natural part of life!

I grew up with a sister who is a “fart supresser” meaning that if she could not excuse herself to “pass gas” she would hold it. Now, I’m not the type of parent who encourages unacceptable behavior from my children when they are in public, and from what I’ve been told by people, I have very polite children. But here at home when it’s just the four of us, that’s a completely different story. Farting does not bother me at all! So when I heard this woman who was talking to Meridith say something like “If your teen won’t stop farting, take away the lap top for a week”. WTH is THAT about? Are you SERIOUS? Punish a child because they are FARTING? No, I’m sorry! As a parent of a 15 year old and a 12 year old, I have MUCH bigger battles to deal with compared to farting! I would much rather hear my child fart than find out that they are doing drugs or drinking. I would much rather that my child fart than treat people disrespectfully!

Am I the only person that honestly feels that farting is not a bad thing? Am I really that far off as a parent because I don’t punish my child because they won’t stop farting? I’m sorry, but I’m just blown away by that segment!

****UPDATE****
You can read about the segment HERE but they only talk about younger children and how to deal with them if “You think they’re farting on purpose”. This is their exact quote:

And, if you think that it’s been accomplished on purpose, then several minutes in timeout may be in order so that he’ll think twice before doing it again!

YOUNG MAN, YOU’D BETTER THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU THINK ABOUT FARTING IN THIS HOUSE! OMG, SPARE ME!

****SECOND UPDATE****
I decided to email The Today Show about this segment. I thought I’d share the email that I sent them with you:

In response to this mornings segment and this article http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23018000/

As a parent of a 15 year old boy and a 12 year old girl who I feel are great children I can’t help but wonder if you’re kidding! As a parent in today’s society I face many different situations with my children where punishment is completely justified. But while watching the segment with Meridith and Dr. Peters this morning my jaw dropped to the floor over Dr. Peters suggestion to “Take away the laptop for a week” over a teen passing gas. What kind of totally not right “Doctor” is this woman? And have we as a society become so “righteous” that passing gas has become such a major thing?

Before you ask, NO, I do not encourage my children to pass gas or burp in public. They know that it’s not something that is acceptable and they do excuse themselves if they do so in public. However, for a “Doctor” to suggest that I should punish my child for FARTING in my own home only tells me that that doctor has NO business treating children or telling people how to parent. That is, unless, that Doctor specifically caters to the rich and elite. I watch The Today Show religiously from 7:00 AM to 11:00 AM every day and this segment has to be the biggest joke I have ever watched. I certainly hope it was a one time only thing and not a trend.

Yes, there are many things that children SHOULD be punished for, but passing gas is NOT one of them.

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You know, I can’t help but wonder if I’d have known how my life were going to turn out, would I have done anything differently?  Being a parent is definitely the most difficult job I’ve ever done in my life!  It has it’s good times and it also has it’s bad times.

As you know, my son turned 15 just a week ago.  He’s an AMAZING kid with eyes that literally show his heart!  I guess I should stop calling him a kid though, because he’s becoming a young man more with each passing day.  But I worry about him and his personal “demons” that he battles!  And one of his battles are one of those things that make me think “If only I had known”.

I suffer from BiPolar disorder.  Although I knew in my teens and 20’s that something was “different” about me, it wasn’t until I was in my 30’s before I was finally given a diagnosis.  I have a love/hate relationship with this monster of a disease.  I love it because I think it’s what gives me the passion I have about many things in my life, but I hate it because it’s also the one thing that can step in and destroy the things I am most passionate about!

It’s obvious that this horrible disease has my 15 year old son in it’s grip!  I see so much of who and what I was when I was his age in many of the things that he does.  And that makes me so sad at times!  No one should ever have to deal with a disease, whether it is mental health related, or something like cancer.  But as a parent with BiPolard, you hope that your child won’t have to go through the types of things that you have gone through yourself!

The only thing I can do is be there for him when he needs me to be, as well as when he doesn’t want me to be.  I have been honest and upfront with him about this disease and what it has done to my life and I’m trying to guide him in the hope that he won’t have to go through many of the things that I have gone through myself.  Being a parent IS a hard job, but it’s also a job that is filled with many blessings and happy moments that help you get through those hard times!

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I called out to my moms house last night to see if she was ready for the snow storm that is supposed to hit us today and my niece answered the phone. She is my very first niece, but not the only one now…LOL! But she holds a very special place in my heart and always will! She is now married and her son turned two this week and she just passed the third month of pregnancy with her second child, which is exciting for many reasons!

Although there isn’t going to be a baby shower for her this time around, I still want to try and find her a special gift that will help make things easier for having a second child in her life, especially since her first born has just hit the “terrible two” stage. I found something from amby baby that I think would benefit both her and the new baby. It is an Amby Motion Bed that looks similar to a baby swing, but it allows babies to feel that they are being swaddled while they are sleeping. And as a parent who had a child that was a restless sleeper, I recognize how important that swaddled feeling is for newborns and infants! I think this would be the perfect gift and that it would definitely make having a newborn a little easier.

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My hubby has been trying for the past hour or so trying to get me motivated to head out and get groceries and do the things we need to get done in town.  I’ve just been putzing around dragging my feet.  You’ll read from THIS post from yesterday that we currently don’t have cell phone service.  I worried then that something would happen today and one of the kids’ schools would need to call us and if we weren’t home, they wouldn’t be able to call us, and I was right!

The nurse from my son’s school just called the house telling us that our son was crying uncontrollably.  When she put him on the phone he explained that although he normally leaves his cell phone off during school, something inside him told him he needed to turn it on.  When he did, he had a text message from one of his closest online friends.  It turned out that the message was from their phone, but not from them, it was instead from one of their family members who was sending messages to all the people on my sons friends phone letting them know that his friend had died sometime over night.  My husband is on his way right now to pick our son up from school and I’m sitting here trying to figure out how I help my son deal with this.

No, it’s not the first death he has experienced in his life, but this is the first he has experienced the death of a friend.  My son has been friends with this person online for a couple of years now, they both play the same online game and my son talks about this kid all the time.  He talks about all of the silly things they say and do when they’re playing their game, they’ve exchanged email addresses and do text each other on occasion as well.  I’m hoping that I can find out more from my sons cell phone as to what happened and possibly even reach out to the parents/family of this child that made my son laugh so many times.

But I’m glad I had the sense to stay home because we wouldn’t have been able to go to school and get our son and be there for him while he goes through this!

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We’re very fortunate in the fact that we have four computers in our home.  We recently purchased a new computer for our son which was his Christmas gift.  Yes, he got it early, but his computer just wasn’t cutting it for the online games he plays and we got a really good deal on it at Walmart, so we just couldn’t turn it down.

My computer is going on three years old, but runs very well for what I use it for.  Although I have been thinking very seriously about reformatting it just to give it a clean slate.  My husband has a laptop that he purchased used almost 2 years ago.  He’s very happy with it, but none of the rest of us can stand to use it, so it’s all his..LOL!  But my daughters computer is the oldest one in the house and I don’t give it much more time.  It has a small hard drive (40 GB) and only has 512 MB of memory.  We recently reformatted it and it was running very nicely, but she thinks that meant that it was OK for her to download anything and everything without paying attention to what it was she was doing.  That has resulted in many boxes that should have been unchecked during downloads remaining checked which has given her a MESS on the computer!

Tonight my husband is sitting there tinkering with it because for some reason or another it now won’t go online.  He found several programs that never should have been installed on her computer even though we just went through the computer removing junk programs a little more than a week ago.  I don’t think she’s ever going to learn to pay attention to what she’s doing and stop downloading ridiculously stupid things without checking with us first.  I guess I’m just going to have to leave her be, and when the computer finally dies let her deal with the fact that she doesn’t have a computer any longer.

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