Just Simply Holly

Please don’t get me wrong, I totally understand how important it is to have friends and family in your life. I spent a few years of my life denying this fact by isolating myself from people as often as I could. During that time period I did learn one very valuable lesson. As important as it is to have people in your life, what’s even more important is having people in your life who are not only supportive but who also want you in their life as much as you want them in yours!

Today I’m finally realizing how absolutely ridiculous the measures that I’ve had to take in order to maintain a relationship with most of my family members has been! I’ve spent numerous years doing what they’ve dictated to me in order to have a few hours with them here and there. I’ve done everything that they’ve asked of me, being constantly reminded that it’s what I “need” to do if I want them in my life. But you know what? Not one single time have they ever shown me that they want to be in my life in return!

For instance, we moved into this house one year ago. Other than helping us move in and coming by one time, my sister and her family has not been here, and my mother hasn’t made one single attempt to even come and see the house. Yet I’m told every time that I want to see them or spend time with them that I have to come to them. I’m sorry, but it takes two in order to have a relationship, and all I’m seeing is me being the only one to put any type of effort into having a relationship with them. Hell, my mother hasn’t even programmed my home phone number into her cell phone, she only has my cell phone number. And she knows that if I’m at home, I get no signal on my cell phone so if she calls it, I never know until something happens and by chance it rings that I have a voicemail message.

I fully realize that we can’t pick and choose our relatives, we get what’s given to us whether we like it or not. It’s not like purchasing a NC health insurance policy where you only choose what you need or what suits your life. But at this point I also realize that just because they’re my family, that doesn’t mean that I have to continue to put up with this kind of abuse. No, there aren’t marks on the outside that are visible for all of the world to see, but the pain from the scars that are on the inside have become unbearable. Today I choose to no longer be a part of a “family” that only expects me to be the one to maintain the relationship. I choose to no longer be a part of peoples lives who have spent many years making it obvious that me being a part of their life holds little to no importance to them.

Today I choose to put my energy and focus on my husband and my children, as well as the friends who have shown that they care and want to be a part of my life. Life is too short to continue to allow this abuse to go on one second longer! Today is a new beginning, thank you for being a part of it!