You know, I can’t help but wonder if I’d have known how my life were going to turn out, would I have done anything differently? Being a parent is definitely the most difficult job I’ve ever done in my life! It has it’s good times and it also has it’s bad times.
As you know, my son turned 15 just a week ago. He’s an AMAZING kid with eyes that literally show his heart! I guess I should stop calling him a kid though, because he’s becoming a young man more with each passing day. But I worry about him and his personal “demons” that he battles! And one of his battles are one of those things that make me think “If only I had known”.
I suffer from BiPolar disorder. Although I knew in my teens and 20’s that something was “different” about me, it wasn’t until I was in my 30’s before I was finally given a diagnosis. I have a love/hate relationship with this monster of a disease. I love it because I think it’s what gives me the passion I have about many things in my life, but I hate it because it’s also the one thing that can step in and destroy the things I am most passionate about!
It’s obvious that this horrible disease has my 15 year old son in it’s grip! I see so much of who and what I was when I was his age in many of the things that he does. And that makes me so sad at times! No one should ever have to deal with a disease, whether it is mental health related, or something like cancer. But as a parent with BiPolard, you hope that your child won’t have to go through the types of things that you have gone through yourself!
The only thing I can do is be there for him when he needs me to be, as well as when he doesn’t want me to be. I have been honest and upfront with him about this disease and what it has done to my life and I’m trying to guide him in the hope that he won’t have to go through many of the things that I have gone through myself. Being a parent IS a hard job, but it’s also a job that is filled with many blessings and happy moments that help you get through those hard times!
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