Just Simply Holly

We had a sad event happen in my town this week that got me and others at another blog I visit talking about parenting. A young boy aged 15 shot and killed an undercover police officer in the wee hours of the morning on a “school night”.

We’ve talked about the parent(s) and why they weren’t more involved and knew where their child was at that hour of the night. We’ve talked about the juvenile justice system and whether or not with his previous and current legal “problems” whether or not this child should have been allowed to even be on the streets. We’ve talked about the fact that this child was on probation and possibly being electronically monitored yet had only been in school 2 days since January 25th. There are so many “what if” questions involved in all of this.

I think about being a parent of 1 teen and 1 “tween” in today’s day and age and about how different it seems to be than when my mom was going through this. When I was between the ages of 12 and 15 I remember being scared of being punished. Not because I was abused, because I honestly was not! I was scared because it meant something!!! We didn’t get the computer or video games taken away from us as kids, we got a spanking and had to work around the house and the farm. We got extra chores! And when our punishment was over, we knew we had done something wrong!

But because of parents and other people who have taken a spanking to a whole different level, todays spankings are looked at in a whole different way, by society and by children. If you spank your child in public today, you run the risk of childrens services being called on you. I’m not talking about beating your child to a pulp, I’m talking about a basic swat, PERIOD! It’s not considered tolerable in today’s society, they’d rather roll their eyes and complain because parents have no choice but to stand in line in the check out and let their child scream and throw a fit.

I am in NO WAY condoning child abuse, but as a parent I see nothing wrong with putting my hand to my childs backside to let them know they’ve crossed a line! I would much rather see a parent do that in public than see them stand there and do nothing because of the fear that someone is going to come knocking on their door and question them about abusing their child.

And think about schools. When I was in school you could be sent to the principals office and if he/she deemed it necessary you would get a swat with the paddle. These were usually not your ordinary, every day paddles, they usually had holes of some sort drilled into them to make the swat sting even more. Were they a form of abuse? I don’t think so! I think they were a way of keeping kids in line while in school! By taking that ability away from administrators we have given children nothing to fear. Because rather than getting a swat in school they now simply get sent home and mom and/or dad get to deal with them.

As parents it is our main goal to teach our children the difference between right and wrong. If we have no means of making them fear that something “bad” will happen if they don’t follow the rules how can we expect them to follow these same rules as an adult?

In the situation that happened in my town yesterday I hold all people involved at fault, although not equally. The 15 year old boy was more than old enough to know the difference between right and wrong and he more than likely knew what would happen when he pulled the trigger of a gun. His parent(s) should have been more involved in his life and made sure that he was at home rather than out running the streets and messed up in drugs. The officer involved, who did not deserve to lose his life, should have been wearing a bullet proof vest. The argument as to why he wasn’t stem on the fact that he was working under cover, but on a cold, dark and foggy winters night I do not see how anyone would have known he had it on. But I’m not a police officer, so I honestly know nothing about things like this. I also hold our juvenile system at fault. I know that they are extremely over burdened, but they need to take extra time to make sure that kids that are this out of control are put under control. Why, if he was on probation, was he allowed to only be in school 2 days since January 25th? I’m sorry, but if you’re on probation and you miss more than one day of school WITHOUT a legitimate reason, you need to be taken off the streets.

As a parent I’ve never been through anything like this, not even close, so I honestly cannot say what this childs parents should have done differently. My hope and prayer is that I never have to go through something like this. The courts are currently deciding whether or not this child should be tried as an adult. If they decide he should, he faces spending the rest of his life behind bars. That is a future no 15 year old should have to look forward to. Nor should the family of the murdered officer have to spend their future wondering what it would have been like if he had not been so senselessly taken away from them.